Once Upon A Never After
by Cinnamint Kitty
Summary: Bella and Jacob loved each other more than anything. When best friends, Alice and Jasper, need help, Bella pleads for Jacob to save them. However, the happiness of Bella and Jacob is short-lived due to a plane crash. Can Bella learn to cope and move on?
1. Prologue

**I know I should be working on my other stories but this has been on my mind all day, begging to be written. It'll be updated whenever I have time and for those who haven been reading Reincarnated and/or Broken, the next chapter of Reincarnated should be out within the week since I am done with college for the semester. The sequel to Broken, which still doesn't have a title or a concrete plot, is also being written. I'm hoping to have a few chapters of the sequel released after Christmas. Once again don't expect regular updates with this.**

**Also, this is roughly based on the current happenings of the soap opera, All My Children. It has the same idea but it will be turned into my own creation. It was also inspired by Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down. I hope you like it. I haven't even started writing the other chapters because I wanted to know what my readers thought. If no one likes it, I will not continue. So please review and let me know what you think. If you read and review the prologue/chapter 1, I'll send you a quote or a excerpt (haven't decided yet) of Chapter 2. Enjoy.

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**Prologue

"You have to help them," Bella Black pleaded with her husband, Jacob. "What James is doing to Alice… to Jasper… it's wrong."

Jacob sighed, running a tanned hand through his shoulder length hair. He didn't like Bella interfering with the lives of other people but he also knew that this was who Bella was. She would do anything for her friends, Alice and Jasper, even if it meant sacrificing their own happiness. Jacob knew that Bella would be forever tied to Jasper. They had a son together. It was only natural that she wanted to do whatever she could to protect Jasper. No matter how much Jacob begged and pleaded with Bella to stop interfering, it always fell upon deaf ears. Bella had too big of a heart to let things go.

"Please, Jake," Bella said. She approached her husband, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. "I know James is dead but we both know that neither Alice nor Jasper had anything to do with it."

"Let the police handle it," Jacob told her.

"I've given them enough chances," Bella snapped, quickly pulling from Jacob. "My father is getting old and Mike has his head so far shoved up his ass that he is already convinced that Alice killed James."

"And what about us? You're so worried about them that you've put our marriage, our life, on the backburner."

"You know it's not like that, Jake. You know I love you but Alice… she's like my sister and Jasper…"

"…Is Damon's father, I know."

"Just please. Please help them and I promise that I will stop meddling in their lives. Just help them out long enough to find Laurent and get the evidence that will get Alice off."

Jacob looked down into Bella's beautiful, doe-like brown eyes. "Alright," he finally agreed. He shook his head before bending down and pressing his lips to Bella's forehead. "I'll do this but after Alice and Jasper come back home, this is it. No more interfering, Bella. I mean it."

Bella's face broke out into a huge grin and she threw her arms around her husband's neck, hugging him close to her. "Thank you, Jacob. Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, Bells… Forever and ever."


	2. Gone

**Me again :) Just thought I'd inform you that this is NOT a Jacob/Bella story. Well, it sort of is. It has mention of their relationship but it will eventually be Edward/Bella so no worries :)

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_In my head there's only you now__  
__This world falls on me__  
__In this world there's real and make believe__  
__And this seems real to me__  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am__  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand__  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am__  
__So let me go, just let me go, let me go_

_Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down_

Chapter One

Gone

"I'm go glad you're alright!" I exclaimed when I saw Jasper and my mother, Renee, standing in the door way. Jacob had pulled through once again. He really was a modern-day Superman. "How's Alice? Is she okay?"

"Alice…" Jasper began. He glanced over at my mother and she returned his gaze. Their behavior seemed off. It didn't make sense. "Alice is fine. She's in court right now."

"Did you get the evidence? Did you find Laurent?"

"We got the evidence but we – "

"Bella," Renee said. "Bella, we need to talk. It's… it's about Jacob."

A smile spread across my face at the mention of my husband. I couldn't wait until he got home. I had missed him for the week he was away in Maine, doing his best to take care of Alice and Jasper. Perhaps he was just delayed or even had some business to take care of. He would be home soon. I knew it.

"Oh. Okay," I said. "What is it? He'll be home soon. He wasn't very happy with you, Jasper, but he promised he would help you and Alice out. You might not want to come around for a while."

Jasper ran his hand through his unruly, curly blond hair and gestured towards the couch. "Maybe… maybe you should sit down, Bella."

"No!" I glanced back and forth between Jasper and my mother. "No. I'm fine with standing. What's going on?"

I noticed the tears that were starting to well up in my mother's eyes. Something was wrong. Surely Jacob was alright. He was okay. I was his wife. I would know if something had happened.

My mother sniffed and stepped forward, causing me to step back. "There was a plane crash…"

"No."

This couldn't be happening. We were just getting our lives back on track. Jacob would be home soon. He would be home in time for the holidays and we would take Damon to the school so he could be in the Christmas play. After everything we had been through together, he always came back. He was always okay.

"He was coming to the island to pick us up," Jasper explained. God please no. Not Jacob. Not my Jacob. "He was in the middle of descent when… when the plane exploded. Alice saw it happen. I dove in to the water to get him but I didn't find him. I didn't find anything." He reached out to hug me but I slapped him away. This was too much.

"No. Stop it. You're lying! Jacob will be home. He just got tied up with business. He'll come home. You'll see."

Tears ran down my mother's face while Jasper tried to convince me that Jacob was gone. This was obviously just a prank that Jacob and Jasper had cooked up to get back at me for meddling. Well I'd show Jacob. He'll be on the couch for the next five years.

"Bella, honey, listen to us," Renee tried to reason.

I stomped pass them and looked out the window. They were wrong. Jacob was a fighter. As long as I had known him, he never once gave up on anything. He fought for what he wanted.

"You're… you're wrong." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "Jake's going to come through that door at moment. He promised he'd be back home in time from Damon's play. Just watch." I glanced back out the window. "You'll see. You're wrong."

"No, Bella," my mother cried. "Jacob's gone."

"You're lying!"

My mother jumped at my sudden outburst. Jasper once again tried to put his arms around me in order to comfort me but I pushed him away. "No! No! Don't touch me! Don't you DARE touch me!" Renee placed her hand on top of my arm and without saying a word, she directed me to the couch. "He said he'll be home. We have plans with Damon and with Alex. We're thinking about having another baby too. We want a girl this time."

"Bella…"

"No! I don't want to hear it. Jacob is okay. Mom," I turned to my mother who sat down beside me on the couch. Jasper sat quietly near by. "For as long as any of us have known Jacob Black, he's been a fighter. When I had agreed to be a surrogate mother for Jasper and Alice, he fought and fought so I would not have to give up Damon. He knew I had become attached to the baby growing inside of me. He did everything in his power to make me happy. He's alive. I know it."

Jasper grasped my hand and this time, I didn't back away. I looked into his blue eyes, trying to figure out what he would say next. "Alice and I didn't want to believe it either but Alice saw his plane explode. I dove in to find him but he was gone. The current carried him away and in the process, the evidence against James and Laurent was destroyed. He's gone, Bella."

"If... if you didn't find him, he could still be alive. He could be okay just like I said. No body means that Jacob is okay."

Jasper shook his head and sighed. "All I found was debris, Bella. There's no way anyone could have survived the explosion."

"How could you?" I hissed, abruptly standing up from my position on the couch. "Jacob's your friend and you didn't find him. He could be out there somewhere in Maine. He could be hungry and cold and you didn't find him. You were too busy worrying about precious Alice to find him." I hit Jasper in the chest, knocking me out of his seat on the arm rest. "He went to help the two of you and you couldn't be bothered to find him."

"I searched for hours."

"And you found NOTHING! He's alive. Jacob's okay. How can you be so cruel? You came here to tell me that my husband is dead but you have no proof. You're sick, Jasper Hale. You left him behind to die."

"The coast guard came, Bella. Alice called them as soon as the plane exploded. They didn't find him either."

"Well I'm sorry that the coast guard's full of idiots. He's out there and no one is doing anything!"

By now I was in hysterics. My mother kept trying to console me, telling me how sorry she was and that the pain would get better over time. She didn't understand. No one understood.

"They said there's no possibility of survivors, Bells."

"No. No. No. No! They don't know Jacob. None of you know Jacob the way I do. Nothing gets in his way when he sets his mind to something. He wanted to come home. He wanted to be with me. With the boys. He'll be home. He'll be home soon."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Alice sends her condolences too. She wanted to be here…"

"Alice can go to hell for all I care. The love of my life is out there somewhere. He isn't here right now because Alice had to get back at everyone and married insane Dr. James Keiner. Alice had to get herself mixed up with the wrong guy and when she needed him, when you needed him, Jacob was there but you just took off. You came home instead of searching for him. You left him to rot. How could you? He was your friend and you turned your back on him. He is not gone. He is not dead. He's just lost. He'll be home."

"Bella…"

"Um… you know what? I'm… I'm going to go check on the boys. They're napping and I just want to make sure they're okay. You guys can show yourself out."

**Rosalie POV**

As soon as I got the call about Jacob's plane crash, I immediately rushed over to my sister's. Bella would be devastated. She would need me to help her with the boys. I would temporarily leave Emily and Elizabeth with Emmett while I was helping Bella. It needed to be done. Bella and Jacob had always complicated each other. They were each others rock. Without Jacob, Bella wouldn't know what to do. She would be lost.

Upon arriving to Bella's, I opened the door to see Jasper running a hand down his face and my mother in tears.

"How is she?" I asked, hugging my mother.

"Oh honey," Renee said. She glanced behind her at Jasper before looking back at me. "She's in denial. She doesn't believe that Jacob's dead."

"Charlie called me when I was on my way over here," I told Jasper as I took off my coat. "They're getting ready to read the verdict. I think you should be there for Alice. I'll stay here with Bella." I turned back to my mother. "I think you should go on too. Charlie's going to need you in that courtroom. Go on. Bella and I will be just fine."

My mother and Jasper didn't want to leave but they also knew how I was. If there anyway to convince my sister that Jacob wasn't coming home, it needed to be just us. As long as Jasper and my mother were in the house, Bella would remain in denial.

"Call us if you need anything," Renee told me as she stood up on the tips of her toes to kiss me on the cheek. I nodded and agreed. Jasper squeezed my shoulder as he passed by, leaving with my mother.

I looked around the spacious living room, my eyes landing on the pictures Bella had placed above the fireplace. Jacob and Bella were just getting their lives back on track. They didn't deserve any of this. Bella was the strongest person I knew. She had been through hell and back. She had survived almost being raped. She was willing to be a surrogate mother just so Alice could have a little one of her very own. But this… the death of Jacob would surely kill her. She would remain strong for her boys but her spirit would be dead. The Bella Swan I had grown up with would cease to exist. When Jacob died, so did Bella.

"He's not dead…" I heard Bella mutter as she got close to the living room. "He can't be. No. he's okay. He'll come home and we'll be a family again. We'll have that little girl we've been wanting. It'll all be okay. Jacob will –"

Bella stopped abruptly in her tracks when she saw me standing in the middle of the room. My blonde hair was all over the place from running my hand through it and my eyes were blotchy from my earlier cry fest. She may have not believed Jasper and Renee when they told her about Jacob but she trusted me. We were twins and Bella could always read me like a book. Just one look at me and Bella came crashing to the ground.

It was then and there that my sister realized that Jasper wasn't lying but that she was lying to herself. Jacob Black, the love of her existence, was dead.


	3. Take Me Back

**I already had this chapter finished so I figured I'd post it. Reincarnated isn't being neglected but I have taken it off of a schedule since it is so difficult to keep. I am still writing the next chapter and I am trying to figure out some major parts of the story. So no worries :) For those of you who might have been confused, that was intentional because this chapter explains a lot of Bella's relationship with Jacob, Alice and Jasper. Remember this follows a majority of All My Children plot involving Zach and Kendall. I hope ya'll like it. I'll include either a quote or a excerpt from Chapter 3 in everyones review replies! Enjoy!

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_She said, I was seven and you were nine__  
__I looked at you like the stars that shined__  
__In the sky, the pretty lights__  
__And our daddies used to joke about the two of us__  
__Growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled__  
__And rolled their eyes and said oh my my my_

_Mary's Song (Oh My My My) by Taylor Swift_

Chapter 2

Take Me Back

**Bella POV**

I clutched my son's favorite stuffed animal, an overly stuffed cocker spaniel, that Jacob had given him when he had turned three.

Memories of when I had first met Jacob were always a strong presence in my life. Our fathers had grown up together and their fathers before that. Our families had a history of being great friends. It was only inevitable that Jacob and I would be friends too.

It wasn't until we were in high school that we really became friends. Sure we had played with one another but that couldn't be avoided. We despised each other. He would put sand in my hair and I would bite myself, only to run to Billy and my father, telling them that Jacob had really done it. My prank usually ended in punishment for myself and for Jacob.

Jacob and I had truly connected when his mother died for brain cancer. I was a freshman at Forks High. He was going to be a junior. I was the plain Jane and he was the quarterback. No one thought it was possible for polar opposites to connect but we did. By the time summer rolled around, we had become inseparable. Our fathers would constantly joke that we would get married and have a family of our very own. My mother was usually standing in the corner, shaking her head. I remember her looking up at the ceiling and saying, "Oh my, Sarah. What am I going to do with these two old men?"

After Jacob graduated, he broke things off. He had told me that he didn't want to be involved with anyone when he went away to college. I didn't believe him and I didn't want to accept it but I let it go. We were apart until I was twenty-one and he was twenty-three. He was home to see his sister, Rachel, get married. The look on his face when he saw me almost eight months pregnant shocked him. Jacob didn't understand why I would go and make myself a surrogate mother for my friends Jasper and Alice. I had explained to him that college was expensive and that my friends had offered to help me out with school if I gave them a child. He was furious.

Jacob was supposed to return back to Columbia but surprised me by transferring to a community college in Port Angeles. When I asked him why, he told me that I obviously couldn't be trusted by myself. He spent the next month trying to get me to keep Damon. He would go back and forth between Jasper, Alice and me, explaining to us that this situation wasn't ideal. He would tell Jasper and Alice that it was clear that I was already attached to the baby I carried.

It took some convincing before Alice allowed me to keep the baby. She was devastated and there was a shift in our friendship. For nearly two years, we barely spoke. If she had anything to say to me, she went through Jasper. Eventually, we realized that neither one of us could live without the other. I was surrounded by Rosalie and men. I needed another girl to confide in. We patched things up and before long, we were all content with our lives. I had Damon and soon little Alex would be on the way.

Life was going so perfectly for everyone until Alice and Jasper decided to get married. What was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives turned into one of devastation. Alice had been involved in a car accident and was presumed dead. Her body had never been recovered. She was gone for nine months and she had missed Alex's birth. Just before Valentine's Day, the town's bad boy, Doctor James Keiner, announced that he was getting married. He invited the small town of Forks to his big day. None of us knew of his mystery bride but we were shocked to find that it was Alice. James had informed her that Jasper had moved on. He had convinced her that she wasn't even dead for twenty-four hours before he was on to someone else.

After Alice reemerged, the only one she would speak to was Jacob. I smiled at the memory. Jasper and I had tried so hard to get Alice to see things our way but she wouldn't listen. She didn't want to hear any of it. Jacob would stay quiet until Alice was finished chewing us out for forgetting about her and then he would calmly take her into the next room, sit her down and talk to her.

When James started to blackmail Alice into staying with him, Alice finally came to her senses that James was a monster. He didn't care about anyone but himself. Immediately, I was protective of her. I turned to Jasper and Jacob pleading with them to protect her. She was my best friend.

But now… because of her selfishness … my husband was dead. Alice was so bent on getting back at the people of Forks that in the process she had killed my husband. It disgusted me to even think that Alice and Jasper would get their happy ending and I wouldn't. I was doomed to never be happy. I would go on and raise my boys but I would never be able to find happiness again. How could I when a part of me was missing? I was completely hollow without Jacob by my side.

I looked around the room at the number of pictures hung on the walls. My eyes rested on a picture of Jacob with our boys. They were so happy. I would never see Damon look up at Jake with his eyes shining bright. "Daddy Jake" is what Damon would call him. Good Lord did that little boy love him.

How was I going to tell my babies that Daddy wasn't going to be with us anymore? Did I tell them that he was with the angels? That he was looking over us with Grandma Sarah and Buttercup?

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. This was too much. I was only twenty-five. I wasn't supposed to be a widow.

"Why me?" I called out to no one in particular. "Bad things aren't supposed to happen to good people."

"Oh, Bella," I heard a sigh from around the corner. I straightened my posture, hoping that no one saw me in my current state. It was clear that I was mess. A horrible, wet mess.

Rosalie came around the corner and sat down beside me. She didn't say anything. All she did was wrap her arms around me and pull me close to her while I balled my eyes out. "Shhh. I know it hurts, honey, but I'll help you get through this. You're a Swan woman. We're tough. We can get through anything."

"How can you say that?" I cried, clutching tightly to the sleeve of her business suit. "You still have your husband."

"You want him?" Rosalie asked. "Because I sure as hell don't." I glanced at Rosalie, exasperated with her statement. I had just lost my husband and she was making jokes about not wanting Emmett. "Seriously. He's a pig. All he does is go to work and comes home only to plop himself down in his recliner and watch the game."

I shook my head, trying to hide my smile. While I didn't approve of Rosalie's comment about not wanting Emmett, I always smiled when she went anti-man, calling Emmett a pig.

"I do love Emmett, Bella," Rosalie explained to me. "I know that look on your face. If I ever lost him, I don't think I'd be able to keep it together."

"You think I'm keeping it together? I'm a complete wreck."

"What I mean is…" Rosalie sighed and glanced away before turning back to look me in my eyes. "I don't think I'd be able to keep on living."

"But Emily and Lizzie…"

"Why do you think I pushed so hard for you to become their legal guardians? I knew that if something ever happened to Emmett, I wouldn't be in the right state of mind to take care of our girls. I needed someone with their head on their shoulders."

"Rose…"

"Bella, you're my sister. Not only that but you're my twin sister. That is the strongest connection anyone could ever have with another human being. I trust you more than I trust Charlie and Renee."

I hugged Rosalie tightly to my chest. She was right about one thing. The strongest connection someone could have to another human being was to your twin. We could read each other like a book and if anyone was going to help me pull through, it would be Rosalie.

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**Alice POV**

"Hey," Eric said to me as he approached. "Are you ready? I need you to focus, Alice." Eric Yorkie was my attorney and a damned good one. A year ago after Eric graduated from Harvard Law, my father, for God knows why, took Eric under his wing at his law firm and taught him everything he knew before he died.

I knew I was in good hands but how did he honestly expect me to focus when my best friend's husband was dead? Bella needed me. I shouldn't even be here. Any jail time was worth it as long as I was by Bella's side right now.

Glaring at Eric, I said, "You want me to focus? My best friend's husband is dead. I should be with her."

Eric ran a hand through his short cropped black hair and leaned on the table in front of me. "Listen. This verdict is important. Unless you're acquitted of murder then you won't be spending much time with Bella. I need you to be prepared."

"Look, if I'm convicted, you'll just appeal. Simple as that."

He shook his head sighing. I was being stubborn, I knew that. I knew that without the evidence we once had, it wouldn't matter how much Eric appealed. An appeal could simply fall on deaf ears and with James being friends with people in high places, I was looking at a nice long jail sentence.

"It's not that easy."

"I don't care."

"You don't care? This is your life we are talking about. You'll end up going to prison. I know that I gave you a hard time about going off with Jasper on some wild goose chase to find some evidence that might have not even existed but you found it and you did well. But, Al, that evidence is gone. As far as the jury is concerned, you killed James. When your father died, I swore I would do everything I possibly could to keep you out of trouble. You should have stayed put. Wherever you were, you should have stayed there."

"I had to come back. Bella needed me."

"Will you shut your mouth and forget about Bella for one damn second?" My eyes narrowed at him. He knew how much Bella had come to mean to me and here he was telling me to forget. It wasn't that simple. "We're talking about life in prison, Alice. Maybe even death row. So please, for an hour, can you simply put Bella aside and focus on the here and now?"

"How do you do it?"

"What?"

"No matter how much I screwed up, you and my father always had so much faith in me. It didn't matter how much trouble I got in to. You always made sure I was taken care of. Why?"

Eric shrugged and proceeded to go through the stack of papers that were in his brief case. "Well, for one, your father gave me this awesome job so I'm not some creepy homeless guy living on the streets." I laughed at Eric's joke. "And since the dawn of time, you've been like my baby sister. Seeing as you're an only child, as surrogate big brother, it is my job to make sure you're okay."

"Hey…" I turned around when I heard a familiar voice and a warm hand touch my back. Jasper sat behind me, a look of complete devastation on his face.

"Hey," I answered. "How's Bella?" Stupid question there. Of course Bella wasn't doing so great. If Jasper was here then I knew that Bella had already heard the news.

"She's in shock," Jasper explained. "She doesn't want to believe that Jacob's really gone. Rosalie's with her now. Hopefully having her sister there will help."

"This isn't how things were supposed to happen, Jazz. Why is this happening? I never did anything but care for James. He needed a friend and I owed him my life."

"You know how the majority of town feels about that scumbag, Al. He's toxic."

I sighed. "I know. I know. I was stupid."

"Not stupid. Just hurt."

For a few moments, we quietly stared into each others eyes. Even though I was technically still married to James, his jealousy and his hatred for Jasper, had led to his demise and pushed Jasper and me closer. I never realized just how much Jasper really meant to me until things took a turn for the worst with James. I had been in a serious relationship years ago with James' half-brother and because of that, James had always been incredibly protective of me. I just never believed that James would hurt me the way he did. He had blindsided me.

I turned back around in my seat as the door opened and the jury walked back in to deliver the verdict. This was it. Their decision would seal my fate.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Cornelius McBain."

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**FYI: I chose the judge's name because 1) I was watching Boy Meets World at the time and Cory's real name is actually Cornelius and 2) Because John McBain from One Life to Live is yummy haha**


	4. Lost

**It's shorter than the other chapters but I'm hoping to increase the length. I only ended it where I did to leave some suspense for the next chapter :) Don't hate me too much. On another note, I will only update if I have 5+ reviews for each chapter. If I don't receive at least 5, it shows ya'll have no interest in it so I would discontinue you and remember with each review you get a sneak peak at the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

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_All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm lost without you_

_Lost Without You by Delta Goodrem_

Chapter 3

Lost

**Summer 2006**

"_Are you insane?" Jacob snapped at a very pregnant Bella. "I break things off with you and go away to college but when I come back, you're pregnant? And with Jasper's baby? Seriously, Bella? What is going through that mind of yours?" _

"_I wanted to give Alice and Jasper a baby. Alice and Jazz… they've been trying, Jake. Nothing has been happening."_

"_They're young, for Christ's sake! Alice and Jazz obviously haven't been trying for –"_

"_Alice can't have children. The doctors have confirmed it."_

"_So the she devil came to you, her best friend, to ask you to be a surrogate mother for a baby that you don't want to give up?"_

_Bella sighed, putting a lock of brown hair behind her hears. Placing her hands on her aching back, she glared at Jacob. "You have no idea what you're talking about."_

"_You're madly in love with this baby. It's absurd to even agree to this."_

"_I love Alice and Jasper too, damn it. If I want to give them a baby, I will."_

"_It's not that simple. You have experienced every kick and heard every heart beat. How do you plan on letting your child go after birth? Can you live with seeing this child every day knowing that he or she is calling Alice 'mommy'?"_

"_It is their baby, Jacob."_

"_Wrong. It is your baby. Yours and Jaspers. Technically, it isn't Alice's because knowing her she approached you, asking you to sleep with Jasper and get pregnant. You two are so much alike you didn't even stop to think that it is completely possible for you to carry a baby using Jasper's sperm and Alice's egg."_

"_She can't –"_

"_She can't get pregnant. I know but that doesn't mean her eggs are completely useless. Will you listen to yourself?" Jacob laughed, running a hand through his short black hair. "I go away for a couple years and look at the mess you got yourself into."_

"_Well maybe I would have been fine if you wouldn't have broken my heart!" _

**Present Day**

No matter how hard I had tried to argue with Jacob, he always seemed to win in the end. He knew that I was a stubborn Swan woman and that none of us had ever backed down from a fight, even if we were completely wrong.

With a choked back sob, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Deep down inside of me, I knew it would be pointless but I quickly dialed Jacob's number. Putting the cell phone to my ear, I listened to his all-too-familiar voice as his voicemail came on.

"Jake? It's Bella. Please… when you get this message, please call me back." I inhaled deeply, trying not to cry any further. "I love you."

It was when I hung up that I lost it all over again. What was I going to tell our boys? It didn't seem fair that the world had to lose such a great man but it happened. The Heavens had earned the great man that we had lost.

I sat up straight and squared my shoulders. I was a Swan woman. Nothing had ever brought us down before. Rosalie was capable of beating her eating disorder when we were teenagers. My father had beaten cancer. My mother made it through all of her five divorces. I would be okay. I would never stop loving my Jacob but I would get on with my life. I would have to. If not for me, then for my boys.

"Bella?"

I glanced up at Rosalie as she rounded the corner, giving her a slight smile to show that I was holding up as best as I could.

"Bella, Mom just called."

I looked up, hopeful for some good news. Sure I was pissed at Alice but there was no way I wanted her to go to jail. It was her SOB of a husbands fault if anything. He was really to blame for everyone's troubles. He always was.

Rosalie shook her head. "Life in prison."

I put my hand over my mouth to hide the sobs that threatened to escape. Jake was gone and now Alice would be too. What was I going to do without my bitch of a best friend? Rosalie and Emmett would be leaving for Europe with the girls soon. That left me with my parents, Jasper and the boys.

What the hell was I going to do?

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**APOV**

As the judge gave me my sentence, I felt a warm hand grasp a hold of my wrist. I knew immediately that it was Jasper.

Life in prison.

How could this be happening? I was so stupid for thinking that James would never hurt me. We had been through so much together. I was too comfortable with him. Stupid me. Of course I was too comfortable with him. Before I met Jasper, I had been head over heels in love with his half-brother. James would have been my brother-in-law if his brother was still alive.

I looked over at Eric, my wonderful and faithful attorney. He had tried his best to get the judge to change her mind but she held her grown. Eric had even gone so far as to state that the foreman had a former intimate relationship with my former husband.

Cold handcuffs replaced Jasper's warmth and two officers grabbed hold of my upper arm, practically dragging me towards the doors of the courtroom.

Bella needed me right now more than ever. What was she going to do now that I was going to be locked up? How could I abandon her at a time like this? I was her best friend next to Rosalie. I hoped that Rose, Emmett and Jasper would do whatever it took to take care of Bella and the boys.

Of course I knew deserved this.

I deserved anything that came at me. Bella's husband was gone because of me. Pretty girl Alice Brandon had to go and show the people of the good town of Forks that I refused to be so easily forgotten after my accident. If I would have just listened to the people around me, I could be starting my future with Jasper instead of going to prison but I ignored them. Instead I married Dr. James Keiner, became a widow and an inmate. Might as well add murder to that list.

As the officers led me to the door, I heard Jasper calling my name as he followed us. I stopped and turned to look at him. My poor soldier looked so lost and so helpless. This wasn't his fault but I knew he was blaming himself.

"I love you," he blurted out. "No matter what I love you. We will get you out of this. We'll do whatever we can. I promise you."

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. If I would have told Jasper that I loved him too I would have lost it. Instead, I gave him a nod and turned around. The officers and I didn't make it very far before a body blocked our path.

Tearing my gaze from the floor, I looked up and nearly died of a heart attack at who I saw.

That son of a bitch.


	5. Live With It

**I know I said it would be 5+ reviewers but I'll settle for 4 :) Here's the next chapter and I hope ya'll enjoy it. I also have a question for all of you. Would you like more of Bella grieving and more of James being a complete ass? Or would you like a time jump to make it... happier? The time jump would only be a few months. Like 5-6 months later. No more than a year after Jacob's death. Let me know in a review what you think. Enjoy and REVIEW.

* * *

**

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody_

_Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry__  
__Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby__  
__Have you ever felt your heart was breaking__  
__Lookin down the road you should be taking__  
__I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go_

_ - Have You Ever by S Club 7_

**Chapter Five**

**Live With It**

**BPOV**

I stared at Rosalie, trying to figure out what she was talking about. We had all saw James die. Doctors confirmed that he was no longer among the living so how was he alive? I don't get it.

"Rose, if this is some sick joke –"

Rosalie shook her head, her blonde curls bouncing. "I swear to you," she said. "This isn't a joke. Mom just called from the court house. He's alive, Bells."

It was then that my grief over the death of my husband left my body and it was replaced by nothing but anger. I would grieve once James got what came to him. He would pay. I would see to it that he did. So I squared my shoulders and wiped my tears away. James Keiner would not see me in tears. There was no way in hell that I would give him that satisfaction.

* * *

**APOV**

I tried to resist the urge to jump over the defendant's table and beat the living daylights out of James. Did he really think that after all he has done that I would just run right back into his arms? The one thing he feared most, he caused. He pushed Jasper and I together.

"Every instinct in my body was screaming to do something. To fight back. I could see the pull between the two of them," James said. His cold hard gaze stared me down. Ugh. Disgusting. "I was forced to watch. Jasper had, or I should say has, Alice fooled but I know his intentions."

"And what are those intentions?" Judge McBain asked. I put my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. Let's just declare me not guilty, arrest James and call it a day.

"To steal Alice away from me, of course," James explained. His cold stare turned smug. The asshole was getting on my nerves. "He doesn't love Alice like I do. Jasper only cares about taking my wife from me. He would do anything to not lose to me. So, when I saw Ali –"

"It's Alice, you son of a bitch!" I shouted. It was impossible to keep my anger in check. I had tried but he was so smug. So sure that things would go in his favor.

"Mrs. Keiner –" the judge began.

"Ms. Brandon, if you will, Your Honor. I refuse to be affiliated with that pile of –"

"Alright, that's enough. Ms. Brandon, please control your outbursts or I will have you removed from my courtroom."

With a sigh, I sat back in my chair. My arms automatically crossed over my chest. I would listen to what James had to say whether I liked it or not. He deserved that at least. It would be interesting what else the jerk had to say.

"When I saw Alice becoming closer with Jasper," James continued. "I lost it. If I couldn't have Alice then neither could Jasper. I refused to lose to Jasper but I knew that keeping Alice to myself wasn't an option either. Justice needed to be served."

"Justice?" Charlie shouted from the back of the court room. "Are you kidding me? I was forced to investigate my friends. My family. Alice is practically my daughter. Do you know how I felt when I had to arrest her? I felt like I was arresting my twin girls. Justice is what I do. I had to haul Alice off because of it. The word _justice_ has no place crossing those lying lips of yours."

"That's enough, Chief Swan," Judge McBain ordered.

"Justice my ass," Charlie grumbled as he sat down just as the back doors creaked open

Hearing the door creak, I turned to see my cousin enter the court room. His bronze hair was pointing in every direction. Chances are he had been running his hands through his hair all the way from Chicago. Knowing that my two favorite men were behind me made me feel a whole lot better. I could take anything that James threw at me now. He smiled his famous crooked grin and I smiled back, passing a silent hello to each other.

"Your Honor," Eric stood up and began walking towards James. "If you don't mind, I would like to ask Dr. Keiner a few questions." I watched closely as Judge McBain gave my attorney the go ahead. Eric stuck his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. He approached James, the vein in his forehead making its presence. "So let me get this straight. You faked your death, set a man up for murder just so he couldn't have my client?"

"You see, counselor," James said. A growl came from the back row of seats and I had to keep myself from laughing. Edward always was the protective type. "I had to make it look like I was dead. I found a herbal compound that slows the heartbeat, lowers the blood pressure to nearly undetectable levels. It's well known in Turkey for having these affects."

"Isn't that interesting?" Tyler Crowley hissed.

James was loving this. He loved getting the people of Forks riled up. Nothing like a good fight.

"Aw, Tyler," James teased. "Don't beat yourself up over this. It happens all the time to mediocre doctors."

For the second time in twenty minutes, the doors of the court room opened. This time with a bang. I didn't bother looking this time. There was only one person who wasn't here. One person who wanted to see James served on a silver platter more than I did.

Bella.

The clicking of her heels, followed by another, filled the court room. I watched, quietly, as she charged at James. He didn't even seem to flinch when Bella approached him. James simply didn't care.

Why did I ever marry this guy?

I assumed that we had a bond of some kind. We had lived in this town, being completely misunderstood. At one point, until I met Bella, James was all that I had. He had taken that bond and destroyed it. James blackmailed me to stay away from Jasper, in the end, hurting my relationship with my best friend.

Bella's gaze was venomous. It was obvious that she wasn't going to put up with James' bullshit, no matter what he had to say.

"Bella," I whispered, trying to get her to remain calm. She ignored me. Bella was too far gone. She would have her say.

**BPOV**

I did everything I could to keep my tears at bay. My focus remained on James. As long as I thought about everything he did. Everything he would do. As long as I thought about how evil he was, I would be okay. The bastard didn't deserve to go on living his life.

"You…" I hissed. "You're to blame. Everything that is happening is because of you!"

James tried to apologize for Jacob's death, telling me that he wasn't responsible and how I should direct my anger at Jasper and not him.

"Don't you dare blame this on Jasper," I screeched. "You think you're sorry for what happened to my husband? You just wait. Jacob went to help a friend, Your Honor. He wanted me to stay out of Alice and Jasper's business but I didn't listen. Alice was – is – my best friend. He knew that I would keep going on and on about helping our friends until he finally agreed. We thought Alice was fighting for her freedom."

"Jacob getting hurt wasn't my fault. It was never supposed to happen."

"Hurt? My husband isn't _hurt_. He's dead! If anyone should be blamed for anything, it is you. Everything is _your_ fault. I want you to always carry that guilt around with you. I want it to eat you alive. Maybe then you will realize just how I feel."

Rosalie reached out in an attempt to soothe me. I jerked away and spun around on my heel, leaving the court room.

I could hear people stand in the court room. No doubt someone was going to come after me. My chest hurt as I breathed. Alice was trying to plead with the judge to let her go to me. A man's voice calmed Alice down and as I sunk down to the floor outside the court room, the doors opened.

"Are you alright?"

Tears blocked my vision but I looked up anyway. With blurry vision, I saw a man with tousled bronze hair but what caught my attention were his green eyes. They held such kindness but behind those kind eyes, I could see pain too. He was hurting just like I was.

"I'm fine," I croaked out. I stood, brushing the back of my pants off with my hands then wiped my tears away. "Why are you talking to me? I don't know you."

"Sure you do," he laughed. "We met when we were fifteen. Well, I was fifteen. You were thirteen. I called you the ugly swan remember?"

"Edward?" I gasped. "Edward Cullen? Alice's jerk of a big cousin?"

"Okay. Okay. I guess I deserve that." Edward smiled. I couldn't believe that the boy who had made that one summer a living hell for me was standing right in front of me. But this time he didn't seem so mean. Based on his facial expressions, he actually cared that I was suffering.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your husband," Edward said. "Alice talked about the two of you a lot. He sounds like a good man."

Sniffling, I nodded. "He was. Jacob was always the voice of reason." I could feel the tears, the heartbreak, all of it, returning but it didn't matter. I may have despised Edward when we were younger but now it felt like I could let it all out. There was something about him that made me feel like he wouldn't judge me no matter what I had to say.

"You're not fine, are you?" Edward asked, attempting to look into my eyes after I glanced down at the ground. All I could do was shake my head. No I wasn't alright. There was a chance, a good chance, that I never would be. My heart had been ripped out. My sun was gone. My happiness. The only man who had ever mattered to me and been taken. What was I going to do without him?

Warm arms wrapped around me as I cried and I knew they were Edward's. A calmness coursed through me as he held me. He whispered soothing words, telling me that it may take a while, but everything would turn out okay. As he quietly talked to me, another pair of arms wrapped around me. These ones were smaller but just as warm and I knew they belonged to Alice.

I was mad at her for being so selfish but a part of me welcomed her loving embrace. Alice couldn't help who she was. Rosalie was the exact same way. I only blamed Alice because I needed someone to lash out on. Alice didn't deserve any of it. She may be selfish but when it came to her family, she was the most kind, sincere person on the face of the planet. She was my best friend. She was my sister. Without Rosalie and Alice by my side, I knew that grieving wouldn't be possible. I would become a hollow shell. Now here was Edward. He was willing to let me cry on his shoulder when we hadn't seen each other in ten years. This is what I needed. Friends. With Rose, Alice, Jasper and my new found confidant, it would be okay. These were people who cared. Who were grieving for Jacob just like I was. Together we would overcome this pain. My boys would overcome the loss of their daddy. I would give my children the best lives they could ever have. They would never forget that Jacob loved them unconditionally. I'll make sure that they know that their daddy loved their mommy. Everything would be okay.

It had to be.


	6. Always Remember

I swear I have the worst luck with computers! My hard drive failed on a computer that I have only had for a year and a half! So I have to buy a new one. All the chapters for other stories I have been working on? Gone. Plus my internet is down at home because for some reason a fuse in the fuse box keeps blowing so that has to get checked out. I only have internet at my boyfriends house and school. I will make an attempt to get our chapters to the following stories: Reincarnated, Unintended, Once Upon a Never After, If I Didn't Have You, The Will to Live, Who I Am, an untitled Harry Potter story, and the sequel to Broken. Once a chapter is finished, I will attempt to update all the listed stories on the same day. So this may be the last chapter you see for this story for a while. Also, this chapter is a filler. I wanted to get something out. It's not much but two familiar characters are mentioned! Enjoy and review :)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer and some of the plot belongs to ABC and the writer's of All My Children.

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_In places no one will find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_Was there when I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_The moment that I saw you cry_

_ ~ Cry by Mandy Moore  
_

**Chapter Six**

**Always Remember**

The months seemed to pass slowly for me. Three months ago, Jacob had died. Two months ago, I finally got enough courage to return back to work as a first grade teacher, thanks to Rosalie's pushing. I was also making an attempt to move on with my life. While my friends and family were absolutely amazing, they didn't understand. Jacob was my best friend. He was my everything. Jacob Black had been there since we were four years old whether I wanted him there or not. Now, just like that, he was gone. My only living reminder of him was our son, Alex. Just like Damon was the spitting image of Jasper, Alex was Jacob through and through.

With a constant reminds always hanging around me, how could I move on? I tried to be happy but it always seemed impossible. My grief took control nearly every night, especially with Rosalie and Emmett stepping up their game by taking the boys every other weekend. Without my children to occupy me and keep my mind off things, I was a complete mess. Not even Alice's infectious energy was enough. Of course she would take me shopping in hopes of cheering me up but it didn't work. Edward also made himself known by stopping by, claiming that he was worried about my blood pressure and the increase of stress. Doctors wouldn't make almost daily house calls. Sometimes Alice would hint that Edward had a "thing" for me. Any guy who talked to me had a "thing" for me. Mike Newton. Tyler Crowley. Edward Cullen. Even Embry Call, one of Jacob's closest friends. I knew that Alice only wanted to me to be happy but she was becoming delusional. After all, I was a widowed mother of two young sons and I had stretch marks!

Seriously. Who would want that?

When posed with that question, Alice would roll her eyes and say that I was crazy for even thinking that, followed by a rant about how I was "only twenty-five with a smoking hot body". I loved my kids but I came with a lot of baggage. Guys didn't want that. No man wanted to raise another mans kids. If they wanted children at all, they wanted children of their own. Of course the people in my life saw me as crazy.

"Bella?"

The voice from outside brought me back to reality. it always did. Standing from my spot on my sofa, I made my way to the front door, wiping my tears as I went.

"Please, Edward -" I began, opening the door. For once, the good doctor wasn't alone. With Edward was also Alice and Jasper plus two others, an older couple who I didn't recognize. Alice stepped forward and hugged me tightly.

"You do not have to agree to anything he says," Ali whispered in my ear before pulling away from me.

Agree to what? Something was definitely going on. Alice wasn't her usual bubbly self. I glanced at Jasper, hoping for some sort of explanation. He shrugged. He was just as clueless as I was.

"Um, sorry," I stammered. "Won't you all come in?"

One-by-one, the group of five walked through my door and into my living room. I still had no close who the two extra people were.

"Bella," Edward said as I closed the door, turning to look at my guests. "This is my mother, Esme, and my father, Carlisle. They flew in from Chicago to offer you their services."

"Services? What services?"

"Rosalie and Emmett can't keep putting their lives on hold to help with your sons. I thought that maybe my mother could help you out while you're at work. She's a great mother and house keeper. Not a bad cook either."

I couldn't believe what Edward was suggesting. I didn't know his mother. I barely knew him for crying out loud!

"Mrs. Cullen -" I sighed.

"Please, dear. Call me Esme."

"Esme, I'm sure your intentions are good b-"

"I think you should give her a chance," Jasper interrupted. "Don't think Rosalie is tired of helping you with the boys. That's not the case at all but she has plenty on her plate. Between work at the shelter, taking care of the twins, with a new baby on the way, then add on Emmett and that's a butt load to deal with. I really do think Esme could help you, Bella. I wouldn't say anything if I didn't think you could benefit from it."

Seriously? I'm sure Jasper was familiar with Edward's parents at least a little bit. After all, they were Alice's aunt and uncle plus her only living relatives. They had to have some importance in her life. They appeared to be very nice people but appearances were known to be deceiving. Then there was Edward. A doctor. An absolute gentleman. He had been raised by these people. They couldn't be all bad… could they?

"I'll… um… I'll consider it. Mr. Cullen -"

"Please, Bella," Carlisle chuckled. His piercing blue eyes bore into mine but he smiled kindly. His blond hair was starting to gray around the ears. "Mr. Cullen was my father."

I fought the urge to role my eyes. Where haven't I heard that one before?

"Carlisle, what is that you do?"

"I'm a psychiatrist."

My teeth started grinding against each other as I turned my glare on Edward. I had lost my husband. I wasn't on suicide watch. A cold hand wrapped my wrist. Alice. She was warning me to remain calm.

"Edward," I growled. "Can I believe talk to you in the kitchen?"

Jasper coughed, an attempt to stifle his laughter. A loud "oomph" suddenly came from him. When I glanced behind me, Ali was removing her arm away from Jasper's stomach. Ouch.

Looking back at Esme and Carlisle, I managed to force out a hopefully friendly smile. "Excuse us." Then, with a quick shove, Edward went flying in the direction of the kitchen.

* * *

Next chapter: Bella and Edward "talk", feelings begin to change but for who?


	7. Worth Fighting For

**_Surprise! After a six month hiatus, I'm back. School's out for the semester so I've been busy writing so I would like to say that I have four more surprises for you :D If you're followers to some of my other stories, you'll be very pleased with me. Also you have the tv show, Glee, to thank for my inspiration. I know they just do covers but the series itself helped me to get my butt in gear. So PLEASE review after reading._**

* * *

_I can't fight this feeling any longer_

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

_ ~ Glee_

**Chapter Seven**

**Worth Fighting For**

I glared daggers at Edward as he stumbled into my kitchen. I was absolutely furious with Edward. It was obvious that he had just wanted to help but he gone behind my back. The least he could have done was run the idea by me.

Maybe then I wouldn't be so against it...

"How could you?" I hissed vehemently. "I'm capable of taking care of my family _by my self."_

Edward ran a hand through his hair, a nervous trait I had picked up on over the last few months. He knew just how upset I was.

"Look, Bella," Edward began. "All I'm trying to do is help out a friend in need. You're going to run yourself into an early grave if you don't slow down. My mother could help you and my father is one of the best therapists in Chicago."

"No, Edward. I'm not seeing a god damn shrink! I don't care if he is your father."

"He's not your usual shrink, Bella. He listens. He gives his input. He just doesn't sit there and go _how do you feel about that?__"_

"Edward-"

It was then that I felt it. Edward had taken hold of my hand and for a minute, I had felt a jolt of electricity; something that I haven't felt since Jacob. Edward's gaze met mine and I quickly pulled my hand from his. Being so close to Edward, without saying a word, terrified me. I was beginning to feel something for him but there was no way that I could allow our relationship of friendship to escalate into something more than that.

I wasn't ready to let go of Jacob and I wasn't sure if I ever would be. Edward would never be able to replace my husband.

I wouldn't allow that.

"You cant do these kind of things, Edward," I told him. Edward quickly averted his gaze from my face and glanced down at his shoes. "I know you're only looking out for me because you promised Jake but you went behind my back. Why would I leave my children with a woman that I don't know?"

"Just get to know her then," Edward pleaded with me. His gaze had returned to meet mine. "You cant turn either of them down without making some sort of effort, Bella."

"I don't want to make an effort."

"Now you're just being irrational. By not trying, you are letting everyone you care about down. What would Jacob think if he knew you were giving up? You go to work and do nothing else. You aren't living, Bella. You're a zombie."

The tears threatened to spill over. I knew that Edward was right but there was no way I would ever admit that to him.

"I refuse to live a life if it doesn't have Jacob in it."

"Bella -"

"I think you should leave. Please take everyone with you."

The look on Edward's face broke my heart. I couldn't even look at him. He mumbled a quick apology before leaving me alone to my thoughts.

Edward had only been trying to help me out so why did I have to go and push him away? His parents would hate me now and surely withdraw their kind offer. Jasper seemed to think I should have accepted the offer. Alice was against it.

Jacob was gone.

I had yet to accept the reality and I was only denying the fact that I needed help. Desperately.

Did I believe what I had said to Edward? Of course I did. Why would I have said it in the first place?

I sat down at the counter in order to make sense of how I was feeling. Saying that I refused to live without Jacob had gotten me in trouble with Rosalie. Rose knew it hadn't been that long since Jacob's death but ever since the beginning of the month, she wanted me to "get back out there", not to find a mate but to keep my mind off of things and if I just so happened to find a potential mate, it was killing two birds with one stone.

Her words. Not mine.

Rosalie had always been a great sister, an even greater twin. Everything she had ever told me, no matter how blunt was to help me out. She wanted me to be happy.

"Bella?"

Speak of the devil.

"In here!" I called out, casting a quick glance at the clock on the wall. Nearly forty minutes has passed since my confrontation with Edward and I was still completely confused about everything.

"Are you okay?" She asked, taking a seat next to me. "I tried calling your cell but it kept ringing to voice mail."

I ran a shaky hand through my hair before looking at my twin. "I think I'm falling in love, Rosie."

"Bells -"

"It scares me. I don't know if I should act on it."

"Is this someone we both know?"

I gave a slight nod and tried to fight off my smile.

"It's Edward."

as soon as I mentioned his name, a dark red blush spilled over my face, giving everything away.

"You are completely smitten with Edward Cullen!"

"Maybe but I don't think he wants to see me anymore."

**RPOV**

There were only a few people in the world who could read Isabella Black like a book. I just happened to be one of them. It was true that she was beginning to feel something for Edward but I could still see the fear in her eyes.

The fear of losing him like she lost Jacob.

She had never loved anyone else but Jacob Black. Bella didn't know to love anyone but that man. The last time we had even had any kind of relationship talk like this was when she was in high school, realizing her feelings for Jake.

"What would Jacob think if he knew what I was feeling?"

a snicker escaped my lips, causing Bella to glare at me. Ever since we were toddlers she had always worried about other people. It didn't matter who it was. It was just in her nature. She was still worrying what Jacob would think. It didn't matter if he was dead.

"I can't believe you are even asking me that," I told Bella. "You have known Jacob for years. You knew him better then he knew himself, Bella."

It didn't look like Bella had heard me. She continued to stare at me like she was waiting for my answer.

"What would Jacob think if he knew what I was feeling?" she repeated.

Reaching out, I grabbed her hand and gave it a soft squeeze before pulling away from her.

"He would want you to be happy."

A small smiled played on Bella's lips. Deep down she knew the answer but my sister had wanted someone to say it. Bella needed someone to confirm it for her.

"Bella, Jake loved you. He would never hold it against you for moving on. Even when he was alive, all he wanted was for you and the boys to be happy. If you truly feel you are ready to move on and you think Edward could make you happy, then go for it. You're the only one who is holding you back."

"And if Edward turns me down?"

"Then he's a fool," a high pitched voice say from the doorway.

**APOV**

I couldn't contain my excitement.

When Edward had returned from the kitchen, minus Bella, I knew that something had to be wrong but before I could go question Bella, I had to give her some space so I waited for a while.

I finally showed up, only to hear the end of the conversation going on between Bella and Rosalie. Bella had told Rose that she was afraid that Edward would turn her down.

As if!

My older cousin was crazy about my best friend. Edward has had a killer crush on Bella since he was fifteen years old. It didn't matter if he had picked on her and called her names. He didn't act on because, even if he disliked Jacob growing up, Edward knew how Jake felt about Bella, forcing Edward to never act on his feelings.

All of this seemed like one big soap opera mess.

"I know people, Bella," I said, coming to stand by Rose and Bella. My statement earned a skeptical look from Bella. "No really. I do but I really know Edward. He could never turn you down. It doesn't matter what you think."

"I come with baggage," was all Bella said.

"Edward loves that baggage, Bells. He doesn't just make daily visits because of you. He does it for Damon and Alex too." Bella opened her mouth to speak but I quickly stopped her by holding my hand up. "Before you go saying that they don't need a new father, you're right. They don't but they do need a guy in their life. I know they have Charlie and Billy but they're getting old, Bella. They won't be around forever."

being blunt was the best way to go. Bella would never quit moping around if we weren't brutally honest with her. Rosalie tried and now it was my turn.

I would get through to Isabella Swan if it was the last thing I did.


	8. It Ends Tonight

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight, it ends tonight  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight_

_ ~ It Ends Tonight by The All American Rejects_

**Chapter Eight**

**It Ends Tonight**

**Part 1**

**EPOV**

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months.

I hadn't realized just how much Bella had meant to me until she was gone. In those few months that I had gotten to know Bella, she had become my everything. She refused to answer my calls, always allowing them to go straight to voicemail. My texts had even gone ignored. Blabber mouth Alice wasn't much help either. She refused to talk about "The Situation". Jasper had been sworn to secrecy by _the wife_ which really meant that his manhood had been threatened. I'd been on that more than I could count.

This was so frustrating. All I wanted was for Bella to talk to me. A text message saying goodnight would even be nice. My heart felt like it had been ripped out. After that fateful night, almost six months ago, I had been reprimanded by my mother.

"You shouldn't have sprung that on her, Edward," she had scolded. "Why didn't you tell her ahead of time?"

My own mother wouldn't speak to me for two days, whether she was really pissed at me or embarrassed, I don't know. My father just shook his head and looked at the ground every time he saw me. I knew they were disappointed in me. I was disappointed in myself and I had royally fucked up.

With a sigh of frustration, I threw my shaking hands into my unruly hair. What the hell was I supposed to do? Rosalie told me to be patient with her sister, that she would come around. Six months later and I was tired of waiting. I had lost weight. I lost sleep. I couldn't concentrate at work which in the end could cost my patients their lives. Edward Cullen was a complete wreck. Emmett said that I was obsessed and perhaps I was but Bella had welcomed me with open arms.

My chair flew back into the wall, causing me to jump. I didn't realize I had stood up with such force. My desk clock read 3:30. By the time I made it to Bella's, she would be home. She always made sure she was home by 4 for Damon and Alex, even if that meant bringing work home with her.

My shift wasn't due to end for another 3 hours but I didn't care. Right now, this was about Bella. I was determined to fight for what we both so obviously wanted. I peeled my white lab coat from my body and hung it up in the locker I kept in my office before replacing it with my suit jacket.

I had some place to be.

Was Bella's house always this far out here?

I glanced around at the dripping wet greenery. Everything just seemed so… so _different_. It didn't help that I hadn't driven out this way in so long.

I didn't have a plan and I was pretty sure this would backfire in my face but I just knew I had to talk to Bella even if that meant rejection. I couldn't do this anymore. There was no way I could stay away. She had to know how I felt about her.

I had to know how she felt about me.

Since that day in the courtroom, there had been something there. The moment she fell into my arms, crying her eyes out, I knew I was in deep trouble. From the very beginning, I had wanted to protect her.

The little brick house at the end of the street came into view. Based on the cars in the drive way, Bella wasn't home yet but someone was there. Damon would be getting home from school soon and I knew that Alex had been going to daycare. Pulling into the drive way, I studied the black SUV. Something screamed familiarity to me.

A cross hung from the rearview mirror…

It was then that my heart stopped.

I threw my vehicle in park and jumped out of it, not bothering with locking it. I was determined to get answers.

All I could think bout in the ten steps that it took to get to the door was why would Bella ignore me for so long? I knew she was mad and that I had messed up but I was just trying to help. Was she that terrified of moving on without Jacob? How could she go on pretending that I don't exist?

I raised my hand to knock on the door but stopped dead in my tracks once the door opened. Green eyes met green eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snapped. "She said she didn't want the help."

"Do not talk to me that way, Edward Cullen!" my mother hissed before yanking me into the house. She closed the door behind us. "I am your mother and you will respect me. Now, as for me being here, Bella needed help so she contacted me."

"What happened to not wanting a strange woman around her children?" I snarled. Bella had laid into me about bringing Carlisle and Esme around. She had ignored me for six fucking months. Now all of a sudden it was _okay_? Worst of all, no one had even told me about any of this.

"I met with her and Alice for a lunch practically every day before she allowed me around her children, Edward. You have to understand. She's hurting. She lost her husband."

"Eddie!"

I glanced in the direct of the small voice before being pounced on by Alex. I scooped him up into my arms and held him close. Up until now, I knew just how much I missed Bella and the jobs but I never realized how much they had meant to me. The familiar burning sensation was becoming stronger behind my eyes.

"Don't cry, Eddie," Alex mumbled as his little head nuzzled against my cheek. His arms snaked around my neck, squeezing me tightly.

"He talks about you a lot," Esme told me.

To know that Alex missed me more than I missed him tore my heart in two. I was sure that Bella knew about the feelings of her youngest son. Why would she choose to ignore them? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even hear the door open and close. I did, however, hear the venom laced voice behind me.

"What do you think you're doing?"


	9. It Ends Tonight Part II

_**I apologize for the wait. I didn't expect to be super busy during the months of November, December and January. The school semester has started back up so I'll write when I can. I have chapter 10 finished and chapter eleven almost done. I am also working on a few of my other stories. Once again I apologize for the wait. Enjoy.**_

* * *

_Your subtleties_

_They strangle me_

_I can't explain myself at all_

_And all the wants_

_And all the needs_

_All I don't want to need at all_

_ ~ It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects_

**Chapter Nine **

**It Ends Tonight **

**Part II**

**BPOV**

Six months.

Six months I had successfully avoided Edward. Even as I got to know Esme and Carlisle, I had still managed to avoid their son. it didn't matter how much I missed his presence in my life. Alice and Rose called me ridiculous for throwing away a great guy like Edward Cullen but I didn't care. He just wasn't Jacob...

Six months of pure pain and now here he was standing in my living room, my son in his arms. my blood boiled. He had no right to show up unannounced and Esme had let him in!

"Alex, honey," Esme said. she cast a concerned look my way before glaring at Edward. Carefully, Esme took Alex from Edward, placing the toddler on her hip. "Why don't we go see how our cookies turned out, hm?" A huge smile spread across Alex's tanned face. Esme took this as a sign to leave with my child.

"Well?" I snapped, throwing my bag on to the nearby sofa. "What the hell are you doing here, Cullen?"

"I came to see you," he murmured, throwing a hand through his unruly bronze locks. "You've ignored me for six months, Bella! I know I screwed up but you didn't need to shut me out the way you did. Do you know how that made me feel?"

I immediately felt guilty. Edward had stepped over the line by suggesting I see a psychiatrist or hire a stranger to watch my kids. Perhaps I might have overreacted, especially after telling Rosalie and Alice that I may be falling in love with this man. That declaration had scared the shit out of me...

"Edward..." I let out a sigh before pulling my bottom lip into my mouth, chewing on it.

"Six months, Bella. You may be able to go on pretending like I don't exist but I can't do that. Do you have any idea how you make me feel? God, Bella! I have loved you since I was fifteen years old. I know it has always been Jacob. I get that. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance. I can make you happy again. I know I can."

What was I supposed to say to something like that? I'm sorry for being a bitch? I'm sorry for ignoring you for so long? Rosalie had said all Jacob would want is for me to be happy and there was no denying that Edward had made me happy. Why did I feel like I would be sneaking around on my husband?

_It's okay to love again..._

Jacob's voice echoed through my mind, causing me to briefly glance around the room. Edward narrowed his eyes, in an attempt to figure out what was going on with me. I was sure I appeared frazzled but I knew I had heard Jacob's voice. He had been gone for nine months. Why couldn't I just move on?

_Don't push him away..._

"Bella?"

My eyes immediately shot to Edward's and my heart clenched. I was terrified of my growing feelings for Edward but because he had just told me how he felt about me and I had yet to say a word to him. A part of me - a rather large part - was also sure that I was going insane. I was sure that it had to do with my inability to move on after nine months of grieving for my deceased husband.

"I..." It felt like my throat was closing off, making it hard for me to breathe. I had to say something. How long could Esme keep Alex occupied with a bath of cookies? "I honestly don't know what to say, Edward. So you've loved me for ten years." I shrugged. "That doesn't change anything between us. There can _never_ be an us."

_Bella, be happy..._

I pushed Jacob's voice right from my head in an attempt to focus all that I could on the current situation. Edward was what was important right now, even if I didn't want anything more than friendship.

"I don't get it, Bella. Why are you so set on being alone? We don't even have to be exclusive. I'll love you regardless. Just _please_.Let me be there for you. Quit pushing everyone who loves you away."

**EPOV**

Why did I have to fall for someone who was so pigheaded?

Moving on after nine months wasn't necessarily a long time. As much as I wanted her to, she didn't have to date me or anyone else. All everyone just wants her to do was start living again.

"Rose told me, Bella." I was crossing into dangerous territory but I was desperate. Bella cocked her head to the side, curious about what I had to say. "She said that you told me that you were falling for me but wouldn't act on it because you were afraid of what Jacob would think."

It looked like Bella was about to pass out. She had clearly thought that Rosalie would keep her mouth shut about Bella's little confession.

_I'm only telling you this because I'm worried about my sister,_ she had told me. _Bella's in love with you and I'm pretty sure that's why she cut you out. Stop this craziness, Edward_

I was now trying to put an end to this madness. Even if that meant pulling out all the stops.

"This ends tonight, Bella," I told her. "Everyone is worried about you and all you do is ignore them. When was the last time you even saw Charlie and Renee? What about Alice? Or have you just forgotten about them too?"

"You don't understand..."

"I think I understand better than anyone, Bella, but you're so busy ignoring me that you won't hear what I have to say!" Bella stared at me with wide, brown eyes. She never even tried to speak so I took that as my cue to continue. Taking a deep breath I took a seat on the edge of the coffee table in the middle of the room. My hands shook violently. "Her name was Tanya Denali. We met eight years ago when we were both students at Dartmouth. We hit it off almost instantly and quickly became inseparable. We... we dated for about two years before I asked her to marry me. She said yes and then three months later, we found out we were going to have a baby." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Baw sit down beside me. Her warm hand wrapped around mine, causing me to look over at her. Tears were already running down her cheeks.

"You don't have to go on, Edward," she whispered. "It's okay."

I shook my head and gave her hand a squeeze. "She carried our son to term. We had decided on naming him William Mason, after both of our grandfathers. When William was three months, we got married. He was our little ring bearer, being pulled in a little wagon by our flower girl. I remember thinking that it was the silliest idea because he had just learned to keep his head up and I knew that he would sleep the whole time but Tanya had insisted on including him. But our happiest had been short lived. When William was almost two, a call came in to the hospital where I was a resident at the time. There was a fatal car accident involving a drunk driver. Tanya died on impact while William died five minutes before reaching the hospital. It had only been six hours since I had last saw them, Bella. Twenty minutes since I had told the two most important people in my life that I had loved them. An autopsy also showed that Tanya was almost two months pregnant with our second child." I glanced back at Bella and held her gaze. "It's always hard losing someone that you love. Nothing can prepare you for it. My parents, along with Tanya's family, were and still are a great support system for me. I talked to my father like I was his patient instead of his son. It's why I flew them in for you, Bella. They understood loss just like I did. They had lost two grandchildren and a beloved daughter that day. When my father was a child, he watched his baby sister deteriorate from leukemia. She was five when she passed. My mother gave birth to a stillborn. She had felt my baby sister move inside of her, had grown to love this baby, only to have the child die. It's all about having the power to move on. It took me a year to gain control of my life again. You can do it too, Bella. You just have to let people help you."

I didn't know what to expect after my little confession. Truth be told, I didn't expect much from Bella.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Edward," Bella croaked. "Thank you for telling me all of that. I don't know what it's like to lose a child but I can only imagine what it's like. Did you... did you date afterwards?"

I nodded. "A little. Nothing too serious though. Keep in mind this happened just three years ago but everyone helped me realize that Tanya would want me to be happy because she loved me. I'm sure Jacob would want the same for you as well." She opened her mouth to speak but I held up a hand to stop her. "I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no. I never forgot her or my son. I loved them. I still do but I can love you too. I meant what I said. I have loved you since I was fifteen years old and from the very beginning, Tanya knew that but it didn't matter because I was coming to her, not chasing after you. Tanya made me happy. I felt loved just by a simple smile."

"I can't promise you much, Edward, but I can promise that I'll try to get past all of this."

"That's all I'm asking, Bella. That's all I'm asking."


	10. IMPORTANT: Author's Note

Hey everyone!

Just a quick author's note to address a few days… I know it takes a long time for me to update but please, PLEASE keep in mind that while I do enjoy writing, it's not my life. Emily comes first and she's a rather rambunctious soon-to-be three year old who honestly does keep me on my toes. I'm also a junior in college as an education major. Luckily I'm out for the summer (as of yesterday) so while I'll be spending most of the summer potty training my very stubborn daughter, I do plan on writing and I'm hoping to finish up a bunch of my stories. Which brings me to the real reason of this author's note…

How opposed are you guys to me taking down all of my unfinished stories? As of right now, there are no plans of abandonment except for one story that hasn't been updated in years. Two stories are going to be rewritten but I'd like to remove the unfinished stories, get reacquainted with a majority of them and then repost them on either a weekly or biweekly basis. I feel because I take so long to update sometimes that my readers have left and I want them to get reacquainted with my stories and the characters as if they were brand new. So what do you guys think? I will leave them up for a week before I make the decision to temporarily remove them or not.

Listed below are the stories that will be removed. The ones being rewritten will also be mentioned down below.

~Cinnamint Kitty

**Being Temp. Removed: **

Misery

Once Upon A Never After

Reincarnated

True Colors

The Secret Potter

Unintended

**Being Rewritten:**

The Will to Live

Who I Am

Right Here

If I Didn't Have You

Meant For Each Other

Two Worlds, One Family

**Undetermined:**

It's A Spys Life

Accidentally In Love

With You I Belong (Leaning towards rewrite!)

**Abandoned:**

The Ultimate Showdown


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